It hit me yesterday just how much I appreciate you guys. I knew that I appreciated you (along with anyone who's ever read one of my books), but this was an existential next level. I thought it merited an email to say so. To say thanks.

The realization hit me right in the face. I'd just pulled into a parking space at my gym, and I was preparing to grab my things and go inside, but first I shored up the rest of the day's to-dos on my phone.

I need to go back to the bookstore, for instance, to find out if they need more copies of my books to sell, if what's there already is low on stock. I need to get the final City of Fire cover files from my designer because the Kickstarter is ending soon and backers will want their books. I have a finished book called Winter Break that my daughter is reading right now (I wrote it for her), and I need to decide when I want to release it -- before the third Gore Point book or earlier? (It's finished, so it could be published any time.) And did I want to do a Kickstarter for Winter Break or just release it? I needed to decide that, too.

And then I realized: Dude, I'm only doing any of those things because I have readers. How crazy is it that people actually spend money on what I make? Then, they spend hours upon hours reading it. Some have read many books, listened to my podcasts, met me live, and found value in things like the limited edition, hand-numbered hardbacks I do through Kickstarters. Even the people who've only ever read my occasionally-free books are spending their time, telling their friends, and leaving nice reviews.

Even if all you were giving me was your attention, it would be amazing. The world is busier than ever. The fact that you'd take the time to read one of my books is astonishing. I've been lucky. I only hear from about 100 of you on this list, but I imagine thousands of others silently reading along, nodding their heads, liking what they're seeing and putting time into it. I sometimes doubt that my cult following is still out there, but then I get peeks and know it is.

Sometimes people think I'm rich. I'm very, very much not. I had a TV show on the air and have sold a fair number of books, but make no mistake: This career I've chosen is a grind, and often a real struggle. Sales come and go, and it's getting harder than ever to make sales at all for most authors. I'm alone a lot. I don't get much feedback, so it often feels like nobody's out there. It's a very easy career to let fuck you up. It's not glorious. It's not glamorous. "Putting creative things out into the world" is super rewarding when it hits, but it's painful as much as it's great. Authors like me only do this because we love the work itself. Story is what makes us go.

I think this hit me yesterday (which, I'll admit, was a tough day) because I realized that last part is true: That I write because I want to write, and even if my books never sold I'd still write them. Readers justify all the ups and downs authors face because it feels like you're there for the ride with us. If you like what we make, it has a way of making it all worthwhile.

I get to express myself every day. I get to stay home and see my family more than I could otherwise. This is my work -- and even if I'm alone a lot, and I doubt myself a lot, and my wife panics a lot when sales are slow, and I doubt sometimes how many people might be listening -- there's still nothing in the world I'd rather do more.

So that's it. I just thought I should say that. I thought you should know. You make this good for me, is what I'm saying, and I appreciate you more than you know.

Thanks for everything.

JT

P.S: I should mention that the Kickstarter campaign for City of Fire ends soon if you want to get in on it before it's over. We just hit our stretch goal. Yay!

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